When we can take control of our emotional life, we control our entire experience of being alive.
Do you feel like your life is happening to you? Or do you feel like you're in charge of creating the life you want?
If you said you feel like life is happening to you, you're in good company. Why do we feel this way? We're taught that circumstances cause our emotions. It's why we want to change our jobs, change our partners, change our careers, change our house, change our friends. We attribute all of our feelings to external things, so we try to change all of the external things so we can feel better.
We look to and depend on external things to solve our internal emotions. We blame others and world events for our negative emotions. We buy things that we think will make us happy. When we try and fail to control our circumstances, we feel powerless and at the effect of the world. When we try to change our circumstances and succeed, it perpetuates the idea that external solutions fix internal problems because we give credit to that external thing for making us feel better. As long as we don't take responsibility for our emotions, we'll always be at the effect of the world.
Think about the areas in your life where you think something outside of you is providing you with:
When you think something external is the cause of your emotion, you're wrong. It never is.
So, what's the alternative? 100% responsibility for every single emotion that you feel. Emotions are the most important things. They determine the quality of our lives. Everything we experience in our lives is through emotion and through feeling. Everything. When we take control of our emotions, we take control of our very experience of being alive. No matter what's happening in the world, you get to decide what you want to think about it, and what you feel.
How do you start?
First, simply be aware of what emotions you're experiencing and label them. Second, own the reason why you feel hurt, or happy, or sad. You're feeling that emotion because of the way you're thinking about a circumstance. And, you're in 100% control of what you're making a circumstance mean. Does the way you're thinking about your circumstances serve you?
Emotional work is everything because emotions are what create all of the important things. If you want success, money, better relationships, or simply to feel better - it all comes down to emotional ownership. All of it. I'd love to help you take this work deeper. Book a free discovery call so you can be on your way to taking all of your power back. It feels amazing and I want that for you, too.